CHAPTER 2: The Spiritual Growing Up

My Steps Towards Inner PeaceAS I LOOKED ABOUT THE WORLD, so much of it impoverished, Ibecame increasingly uncomfortable about having so much while mybrothers and sisters were starving. Finally I had to find another way.
The turning point came when, in desperation and out of a very deepseeking for a meaningful way of life, I walked all one night throughthe woods. I came to a moonlit glade and prayed.
I felt a complete willingness, without any reservations, to givemy life—to dedicate my life—to service. “Please use me!” I prayedto God. And a great peace came over me.
I tell you it’s a point of no return. After that, you can never goback to completely self-centered living.
And so I went into the second phase of my life. I began to live togive what I could, instead of to get what I could, and I entered a newand wonderful world. My life began to be meaningful. I attained thegreat blessing of good health; I haven’t had an ache or pain, a cold orheadache since. (Most illness, you know, is psychologically induced.)From that time on, I have known that my life work would be forpeace—that it would cover the whole peace picture: peace amongnations, peace among groups, peace among individuals, and the very,very important inner peace. However, there’s a great deal of differencebetween being willing to give your life and actually giving yourlife, and for me fifteen years of preparation and inner seeking laybetween.
I was not far down the spiritual road when I became acquaintedwith what the psychologists refer to as ego and conscience, which Icall the lower self and the higher self, or the self-centered nature andthe God-centered nature. It’s as though we have two selves or naturesor two wills with two contrary viewpoints.
Your lower self sees things from the viewpoint of your physicalwell-being only—your higher self considers your psychological orspiritual well-being. Your lower self sees you as the center of theuniverse—your higher self sees you as a cell in the body of humanity.
When you are governed by your lower self you are selfish andmaterialistic, but insofar as you follow the promptings of yourhigher self you will see things realistically and find harmony withinyourself and others.
The body, mind and emotions are instruments which can be usedby either the self-centered nature or the God-centered nature. Theself-centered nature uses these instruments, yet it is never fully ableto control them, so there is a constant struggle. They can only befully controlled by the God-centered nature.
When the God-centered nature takes over, you have found innerpeace. Until that time comes, a partial control can be gained throughdiscipline. It can be discipline imposed from without through earlytraining which has become a part of the subconscious side of the selfcenterednature. It can be discipline undertaken voluntarily: self-discipline.
Now, if you are doing things you know you shouldn’t do anddon’t really want to do, you certainly lack discipline. I recommendspiritual growing—and in the meantime self-discipline.
During the spiritual growing up period the inner conflict can bemore or less stormy. Mine was about average. The self-centerednature is a very formidable enemy and it struggles fiercely to retainits identity. It defends itself in a cunning manner and should not beregarded lightly. It knows the weakest spots of your armor andattempts a confrontation when one is least aware. During these periodsof attack, maintain a humble stature and be intimate with nonebut the guiding whisper of your higher self.
The higher self has been given many wonderful names byreligious leaders, some calling the higher governing power the innerlight, or the indwelling Christ.When Jesus said, “The Kingdom of Godis within you,” he was obviously referring to the higher self. Inanother place it says, Christ in you, your hope of glory, the indwellingChrist. Jesus was called the Christ because his life was governed bythis higher governing power.
When I talk about my steps toward inner peace, I talk aboutthem in a framework, but there’s nothing arbitrary about the numberof steps.They can be expanded; they can be contracted.This is just away of talking about the subject, but this is important: the stepstoward inner peace are not taken in any certain order. The first stepfor one may be the last step for another. So just take whatever stepsseem easiest for you, and as you take a few steps, it will becomeeasier for you to take a few more. In this area we can really share.
None of you may feel guided to walk a pilgrimage, and I’m not tryingto inspire you to do so. But in the field of finding harmony in ourown lives, we can share. And I suspect that when you hear me givesome of the steps toward inner peace, you will recognize them assteps that you also have taken.
Preparations.
I would like to mention some preparations that were required ofme. The first preparation is to take a right attitude toward life. Thismeans, stop being an escapist! Stop being a surface liver who staysright in the froth of the surface. There are millions of these people,and they never find anything really worthwhile. Be willing to face lifesquarely and get down beneath the surface of life where the veritiesand realities are to be found.That’s what we are doing here now.
There’s the whole matter of having a meaningful attitude towardthe problems that life may set before you. If only you could see thewhole picture, if you knew the whole story, you would realize thatno problem ever comes to you that does not have a purpose in yourlife, that cannot contribute to your inner growth.When you perceivethis, you will recognize that problems are opportunities in disguise.
If you did not face problems, you would just drift through life. It isthrough solving problems in accordance with the highest light wehave that inner growth is attained. Now, collective problems must besolved by us collectively, and no one finds inner peace who avoidsdoing his or her share in the solving of collective problems, likeworld disarmament and world peace. So let us always think aboutthese problems together and talk about them together, and collectivelywork toward their solutions.
The second preparation has to do with bringing our lives into harmonywith the laws that govern this universe. Created are not only theworlds and the beings, but also the laws that govern them. Applyingboth in the physical realm and in the psychological realm, these lawsgovern human conduct. Insofar as we are able to understand andbring our lives into harmony with these laws, our lives will be inharmony. Insofar as we disobey these laws, we create difficulties forourselves by our disobedience.We are our own worst enemies. If weare out of harmony through ignorance, we suffer somewhat; but ifwe know better and are still out of harmony, then we suffer a greatdeal. Suffering pushes us toward obedience.
I recognized that there are some well-known, little understood,and seldom practiced laws that we must live by if we wish to findpeace within or without. Included are the laws that evil can only beovercome by good; that only good means can attain a good end; thatthose who do unloving things hurt themselves spiritually.
These laws are the same for all human beings and must beobeyed before harmony can prevail.
So I got busy on a very interesting project.This was to live all thegood things I believed in. I did not confuse myself by trying to takethem all at once, but rather if I was doing something that I knew Ishouldn’t be doing I stopped doing it and I always made a quick relinquishment.
That’s the easy way.Tapering off is long and hard. And ifI was not doing something that I knew I should be doing, I got busyon that. It took the living quite a while to catch up with the believing,but of course it can, and now if I believe something, I live it.
Otherwise it would be perfectly meaningless. As I lived according tothe highest light I had, I discovered that other light was given; that Iopened myself to receiving more light as I lived the light I had.
There is a third preparation that has to do with something whichis unique for every human life, because every one of us has a specialplace in the Life Pattern, and no two people have exactly the same partto play in God’s plan.There is a guidance which comes from withinto all who will listen.Through this guidance each one will feel drawnto some part in the scheme of things.
God’s laws can be known from within, but they can also belearned from without, as they have been spoken of by all great religiousteachers. God’s guidance can only be known from within.
We must remain open to God’s guidance. God never guides usto break divine law, and if such a negative guidance comes to us wecan be sure it is not from God. It is up to us to keep our lives steadfastlyin harmony with divine law, which is the same for all of us.
Only insofar as we remain in harmony with divine law do goodthings come to us.
When you come into this world your jobs in the divine plan arethere.They just need to be realized and lived. If you do not yet knowwhere you fit, I suggest that you try seeking it in receptive silence. Iused to walk amid the beauties of nature, just receptive and silent,and wonderful insights would come to me.
You begin to do your part in the Life Pattern by doing all of thegood things you feel motivated toward, even though they are justlittle good things at first.You give these priority in your life over allthe superficial things that customarily clutter human lives.
Every morning I thought of God and thought of things I mightdo that day to be of service to God’s children. I looked at every situationI came into to see if there was anything I could do there to beof service. I did as many good things as I could each day, not forgettingthe importance of a pleasant word and a cheery smile. I prayedabout things that seemed too big for me to handle—and right prayermotivates to right action.
I was filled with a runaway enthusiasm to help others, and onecould argue that when I solved so many problems for others I wasdepriving them of the spiritual growth problem-solving brings. Isoon realized I had to leave some good works for others to do and beblessed by.
In the beginning I helped people in simple ways with errands,gardening projects, and by reading to them. I spent some time in theprivate homes of the elderly and the recuperating ill, assisting themto overcome their various ailments. I worked with troubledteenagers, the psychologically disturbed, and the physically and mentallyhandicapped. My motives were pure and much of my work didhave a positive and good effect. I used what I call spiritual therapy: Ifound all the good things that those I worked with wanted to do, andI helped them to do those things.There were some who became tooattached to me and I had to work on breaking the attachment.
My lack of expertise was more than offset by the love I extendedto others.When love fills your life all limitations are gone.The medicinethis sick world needs so badly is love.
I also did some volunteer work for the American Friends ServiceCommittee, the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom,and the Fellowship of Reconciliation—over a period of at leastten years, off and on.
There are those who know and do not do.This is very sad. In thismaterialistic age we have such a false criterion by which to measuresuccess. We measure it in terms of dollars, in terms of materialthings. But happiness and inner peace do not lie in that direction. Ifyou know but do not do, you are a very unhappy person indeed.
There is a fourth preparation. It is the simplification of life, tobring inner and outer well-being, psychological and material wellbeing,into harmony in your life. This was made very easy for me.
Just after I dedicated my life to service, I felt that I could no longeraccept more than I need while others in the world have less than theyneed.This moved me to bring my life down to need level. I thought itwould be difficult. I thought it would entail a great many hardships,but I was quite wrong. Instead of hardships, I found a wonderfulsense of peace and joy, and a conviction that unnecessary possessionsare only unnecessary burdens.
During this period I was able to meet my expenses on ten dollarsa week, dividing my budget into two categories. I allocated$6.50 for food and incidentals and $3.50 for lodging.
Now I do not mean that needs are all the same.Your needs maybe much greater than mine. For instance, if you have a family, youwould need the stability of a family center for your children. But I domean that anything beyond need—and need sometimes includesthings beyond physical needs, too—anything beyond need tends tobecome burdensome. If you have it, you have to take care of it!
There is great freedom in simplicity of living, and after I beganto feel this, I found harmony in my life between inner and outerwell-being.There is a great deal to be said about such harmony, notonly for an individual life but also for the life of a society. It’s becauseas a world we have gotten ourselves so far out of harmony, so way offon the material side, that when we discover something like nuclearenergy we are still capable of putting it into a bomb and using it tokill people! This is because our inner well-being lags so far behindour outer well-being.The valid research for the future is on the innerside, on the spiritual side, so that we will be able to bring these twointo balance—and so that we will know how to use well the outerwell-being we already have.
Purifications.
Then I discovered that there were some purifications required ofme. The first one is such a simple thing: it is purification of the body.
This had to do with my physical living habits. I used to eat all thestandard foods. I shudder now to think of what I used to dump intothis temple of the spirit.
I did not take care of my bodily temple when I was very young;this only happened later in life. It was five years after I felt a completewillingness to give my life that I began to take care of my bodilytemple—five years! Now I eat mostly fruits, nuts, vegetables, wholegrains (preferably organically grown) and perhaps a bit of milk andcheese.This is what I live on and walk on.
There was a time when I had the caffeine habit. I would get upin the morning and have my cup of coffee first thing. One morning,when I had just taken my cup of coffee, I sat and looked at thatcoffee cup and said, “You’re depending on that to get you perking inthe morning! I’m not going to be a slave to caffeine.This is going tostop right here!” And it did. I never touched it again. I missed it fora few days, but I’m stronger than that cup of coffee!
I began to realize that I was disobeying my rule of life which says:
I will not ask anyone to do for me things that I would refuse to do for myself.
Now, I wouldn’t kill any creature—I wouldn’t even kill a chicken ora fish—and therefore I stopped immediately eating all flesh.
I have not eaten flesh for many years, not meat or fish or fowl. Ihave learned since that it is bad for your health, but at that time I justextended my love to include not only all my fellow human beings butalso my fellow creatures, and so I stopped hurting them and Istopped eating them.
I did not know at that time that flesh eating was bad for thespirit. I just knew it was something I could no longer do because itwas contrary to one of my rules of life. Then I learned a little laterfrom a doctor that flesh eating leaves poisonous residues in the body,which would also have made me a vegetarian. I believe in practicingprevention since the body is the temple of the spirit.
Then I learned from a college professor, who wrote a book onthe subject, that it takes many times the land to raise the creatureswe eat as it would to raise fruits or vegetables or grains. Since I wantthe maximum number of God’s children to be fed, that also wouldmake me a vegetarian.
The difficulty is we have not learned to stop killing each other yet.
That’s our present lesson—not to kill each other.To learn the lessonof sharing and the lesson of non-killing of man by man.The lesson ofnon-killing of creatures is a little bit into the future, though those ofus who know better need to live up to our highest light.
When I realized white flour and white sugar were bad for yourhealth I stopped eating them.When I realized highly seasoned thingswere bad I quit them. And when I realized all processed foods containsubstances that are bad for the body I quit eating them. Evenmost water out of the tap is a chemical cocktail. I would suggest bottledor distilled water.
I know enough about food to nourish my body properly and Ihave excellent health. I enjoy my food, but I eat to live. I do not liveto eat, as some people do, and I know when to stop eating. I am notenslaved by food.
People can still be hungry after eating large quantities of wrongfoods. In fact, you can suffer from malnutrition even though you consistentlyovereat wrong foods.You can begin a healthy diet by havingonly good, wholesome foods available. Eat slowly and chew yourfood well, as I do.Then make food a very incidental part of your lifeby filling your life so full of meaningful things that you’ll hardly havetime to think about food.
In my eating and sleeping habits I have the closest contact withnature that is possible for me. Each day I get as much fresh air andsunshine and contact with nature as I can. I want to do much of myliving out-of-doors and be a part of the landscape. Rest and exerciseare important. I am not one who consistently goes without sleep.
When possible, I go to bed at dusk and get eight hours of sleep. I takemy exercise by walking and swinging my arms which makes it a completeform of exercise.
You’d think purification of the body might be the first area inwhich people would be willing to work, but from practical experienceI’ve discovered it’s often the last—because it might mean gettingrid of some of our bad habits, and there is nothing we cling tomore tenaciously.
There is a second purification: purification of thought. If you realizedhow powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negativethought. They can be a powerful influence for good whenthey’re on the positive side, and they can and do make you physicallyill when they’re on the negative side. I don’t eat junk foods and Idon’t think junk thoughts! Let me tell you, junk thoughts can destroyyou even more quickly than junk food. Junk thoughts are somethingto be wary of.
Let me tell you a story of a man adversely affected by negativethoughts. He was sixty-five years old when I knew him and he wasmanifesting symptoms of what was called a chronic physical illness.
When I talked to him I realized there was some bitterness in his life.
However, I couldn’t put my finger on it right away because I saw hewas getting along well with his wife, his grown children and thefolks in his community. But the bitterness was there just the same. Ifound that he was harboring bitterness against his father who hadbeen dead for many long years because his father had educated hisbrother and not him. He was a very intellectual person so I talked tohim at length. When he, the oldest son, was to be educated, hisfather had absolutely not enough money to do it. In fact, the familywas very poor at that time.There were several sisters after him andI think three of them hadn’t been educated either. His brother wasthe youngest, and by that time his father had more money and wasable to educate the brother. He didn’t begrudge his brother the education,he just thought he should have gotten it too. When he sawintellectually that his father had done the best he could with both ofhis sons, then he was able to release the bitterness he had been harboring.
That so-called chronic illness began to fade away and soonthe condition was much improved and then it was gone.
If you’re harboring the slightest bitterness toward anyone, or anyunkind thoughts of any sort whatever, you must get rid of themquickly.They are not hurting anyone but you. It isn’t enough just todo right things and say right things—you must also think right thingsbefore your life can come into harmony.
During the preparation period I wasn’t fully identifying with thereal me, I was just learning. I was very forgiving toward others, thatwas no problem, but I was very unforgiving toward myself. If I didsomething that wasn’t the highest, I would say to myself, “You oughtto know better.” And then one day as I was combing my hair at themirror, I looked at myself and said, “You vain thing! Why do youthink you know better when you forgive everyone else for not knowingbetter? You’re not any better than they are.”
You must learn to forgive yourself as easily as you forgive others.
And then take a further step and use all that energy that you used incondemning yourself for improving yourself. After that I reallystarted to get somewhere—because there’s only one person you canchange and that’s yourself. After you have changed yourself, youmight be able to inspire others to look for change.
It took the living quite awhile to catch up with the believing, butit finally did. And when it did, a progress began which never ended.
As I lived up to the highest light I had, higher and higher light cameto me.
The third purification is the purification of desire. What are thethings you desire? Do you desire superficial things like pleasures—new items of wearing apparel or new household furnishings or cars?
Since you are here to get yourself in harmony with the laws thatgovern human conduct and with your part in the scheme of things,your desires should be focused in this direction. It’s very importantto get your desires centered so you will desire only to do God’s willfor you.You can come to the point of oneness of desire, just to knowand do your part in the Life Pattern. When you think about it, isthere anything else as really important to desire?
There is one more purification, and that is purification of motive.
What is your motive for whatever you may be doing? If it is puregreed or self-seeking or the wish for self-glorification, I would say,don’t do that thing. Don’t do anything you would do with such amotive. But that isn’t easy because we tend to do things with verymixed motives. I’ve never found a person who had purely badmotives.There may be such a person, I have never encountered one.
I do encounter people who constantly have mixed motives. Goodand bad motives all mixed together. For instance, I met a man in thebusiness world and he admitted that his motives were not the highest,and yet mixed in with them were good motives—providing forhis family, doing some good in his community. Mixed motives!
I talk to groups studying the most advanced spiritual teachingsand sometimes these people wonder why nothing is happening intheir lives. Their motive is the attainment of inner peace for themselves—which of course is a selfish motive.You will not find it withthis motive. The motive, if you are to find inner peace, must be anoutgoing motive. Service, of course, service. Giving, not getting. Yourmotive must be good if your work is to have good effect.The secretof life is being of service.
I knew a man who was a good architect. It was obviously hisright work, but he was doing it with the wrong motive. His motivewas to make a lot of money and to keep ahead of the Joneses. Heworked himself into an illness, and it was shortly after that I methim. I got him to do little things for service. I talked to him about thejoy of service and I knew that after he had experienced this he couldnever go back into really self-centered living.We corresponded a bitafter that. A few years later I hardly recognized him when I stoppedin to see him. He was such a changed man! But he was still an archi-tect. He was drawing a plan and he talked to me about it: “You see,I’m designing it this way to fit into their budget, and then I’ll set iton their plot of ground to make it look nice ...” His motive was to beof service to the people he drew plans for. He was a radiant andtransformed person. His wife told me that his business had increasedbecause people were now coming to him from miles around forhome designs.
I’ve met a few people who had to change their jobs in order tochange their lives, but I’ve met many more people who merely hadto change their motive to service in order to change their lives.
Relinquishments.
Now, the last part deals with relinquishments. Once you’vemade the first relinquishment you have found inner peace, becauseit’s the relinquishment of self-will.
You can work on subordinating the lower self by refraining fromdoing the not-good things you may be motivated toward—not suppressingthem, but transforming them so that the higher self can takeover your life. If you are motivated to do or say a mean thing, you canalways think of a good thing.You deliberately turn around and usethat same energy to do or say a good thing instead. It works!
The second relinquishment is the relinquishment of the feeling ofseparateness.We begin feeling very separate and judging everything asit relates to us, as though we were the center of the universe. Evenafter we know better intellectually, we still judge things that way. Inreality, of course, we are all cells in the body of humanity.We are notseparate from our fellow humans. The whole thing is a totality. It’sonly from that higher viewpoint that you can know what it is to loveyour neighbor as yourself. From that higher viewpoint therebecomes just one realistic way to work, and that is for the good ofthe whole. As long as you work for your selfish little self, you’re justone cell against all those other cells, and you’re way out of harmony.
But as soon as you begin working for the good of the whole, you findyourself in harmony with all of your fellow human beings.You see,it’s the easy, harmonious way to live.
Then there is the third relinquishment, and that is the relinquishmentof all attachments. No one is truly free who is still attached tomaterial things, or to places, or to people. Material things must beput into their proper place.They are there for use. It’s all right to usethem, that’s what they’re there for. But when they’ve outlived theirusefulness, be ready to relinquish them and perhaps pass them on tosomeone who does need them. Anything that you cannot relinquishwhen it has outlived its usefulness possesses you, and in this materialisticage a great many of us are possessed by our possessions.We arenot free.
I considered myself liberated long before it became the fashion.
First I liberated myself from debilitating habits, and went on to freemyself of combative, aggressive thoughts. I have also cast aside anyunnecessary possessions.This, I feel, is true liberation.
There is another kind of possessiveness. You do not possess any otherhuman being, no matter how closely related that other may be. Nohusband owns his wife; no wife owns her husband; no parents owntheir children.When we think we possess people there is a tendencyto run their lives for them, and out of this develop extremely inharmonioussituations. Only when we realize that we do not possessthem, that they must live in accordance with their own inner motivations,do we stop trying to run their lives for them, and then wediscover that we are able to live in harmony with them.Anything thatyou strive to hold captive will hold you captive—and if you desirefreedom you must give freedom.
Associations formed in this earth life are not necessarily for theduration of the life span. Separation takes place constantly, and aslong as it takes place lovingly not only is there no spiritual injury, butspiritual progress may actually be helped.
We must be able to appreciate and enjoy the places where wetarry and yet pass on without anguish when we are called elsewhere.
In our spiritual development we are often required to pull up rootsmany times and to close many chapters in our lives until we are nolonger attached to any material thing and can love all people withoutany attachment to them.
Now the last: the relinquishment of all negative feelings. I want tomention just one negative feeling which the nicest people still experience,and that negative feeling is worry.Worry is not concern,which would motivate you to do everything possible in a situation.
Worry is a useless mulling over of things we cannot change.
One final comment about negative feelings, which helped mevery much at one time and has helped others. No outward thing—nothing, nobody from without—can hurt me inside, psychologically.
I recognized that I could only be hurt psychologically by my ownwrong actions, which I have control over; by my own wrong reactions(they are tricky, but I have control over them too); or by my owninaction in some situations, like the present world situation, that needaction from me.When I recognized all this how free I felt! And I juststopped hurting myself. Now someone could do the meanest thingto me and I would feel deep compassion for this out-of-harmonyperson, this sick person, who is capable of doing mean things. I certainlywould not hurt myself by a wrong reaction of bitterness oranger.You have complete control over whether you will be psychologicallyhurt or not, and anytime you want to, you can stop hurtingyourself.
These are my steps toward inner peace that I wanted to sharewith you. There is nothing new about this. This is universal truth. Imerely talked about these things in everyday words in terms of myown personal experience with them.The laws which govern this universework for good as soon as we obey them, and anything contraryto these laws doesn’t last long. It contains within itself the seeds of itsown destruction.The good in every human life always makes it possiblefor us to obey these laws.We do have free will about all this, andtherefore how soon we obey and thereby find harmony, both withinourselves and within our world, is up to us.
During this spiritual growing up period I desired to know and doGod’s will for me. Spiritual growth is not easily attained, but it iswell worth the effort. It takes time, just as any growth takes time.
One should rejoice at small gains and not be impatient, as impatiencehampers growth.
The path of gradual relinquishment of things hindering spiritualprogress is a difficult path, for only when relinquishment is completedo the rewards really come. The path of quick relinquishment is aneasy path, for it brings immediate blessings. And when God fills yourlife, God’s gifts overflow to bless all you touch.
To me, it was an escape from the artificiality of illusion into therichness of reality. To the world it may seem that I had given upmuch. I had given up burdensome possessions, spending time meaninglessly,doing things I knew I should not do and not doing things Iknew I should do. But to me it seemed that I had gained much—even the priceless treasures of health and happiness.
The Attainment of Inner Peace.
There were hills and valleys, lots of hills and valleys, in that spiritualgrowing up period.Then in the midst of the struggle there camea wonderful mountaintop experience—the first glimpse of what thelife of inner peace was like.
That came when I was out walking in the early morning. All of asudden I felt very uplifted, more uplifted than I had ever been. Iremember I knew timelessness and spacelessness and lightness. I did notseem to be walking on the earth.There were no people or even animalsaround, but every flower, every bush, every tree seemed towear a halo. There was a light emanation around everything andflecks of gold fell like slanted rain through the air.This experience issometimes called the illumination period.
The most important part of it was not the phenomena: theimportant part of it was the realization of the oneness of all creation.
Not only all human beings—I knew before that all human beings areone. But now I knew also a oneness with the rest of creation. Thecreatures that walk the earth and the growing things of the earth.Theair, the water, the earth itself. And, most wonderful of all, a onenesswith that which permeates all and binds all together and gives life to all. Aoneness with that which many would call God.
I have never felt separate since. I could return again and again tothis wonderful mountaintop, and then I could stay there for longerand longer periods of time and just slip out occasionally.
The inspiration for the pilgrimage came at this time. I sat highupon a hill overlooking rural New England. The day before I hadslipped out of harmony, and the evening before I had thought to God,“It seems to me that if I could always remain in harmony I could beof greater usefulness—for every time I slip out of harmony itimpairs my usefulness.”
When I awoke at dawn I was back on the spiritual mountaintopwith a wonderful feeling. I knew that I would never need to descendagain into the valley. I knew that for me the struggle was over, thatfinally I had succeeded in giving my life or finding inner peace. Againthis is a point of no return.You can never go back into the struggle.
The struggle is over now because you will to do the right thing andyou don’t need to be pushed into it.
I went out for a time alone with God.While I was out a thoughtstruck my mind: I felt a strong inner motivation toward the pilgrimage—toward this special way of witnessing for peace.
I saw, in my mind’s eye, myself walking along and wearing thegarb of my mission ... I saw a map of the United States with the largecities marked—and it was as though someone had taken a coloredcrayon and marked a zigzag line across, coast to coast and border toborder, from Los Angeles to New York City. I knew what I was to do.
And that was a vision of my first year’s pilgrimage route in 1953!
I entered a new and wonderful world. My life was blessed witha meaningful purpose.
However, progress was not over. Great progress has taken placein this third phase of my life. It’s as though the central figure of thejigsaw puzzle of my life is complete and clear and unchanging, andaround the edges other pieces keep fitting in.There is always a growingedge, but the progress is harmonious.There is a feeling of alwaysbeing surrounded by all of the good things, like love and peace andjoy. It seems like a protective surrounding, and there is an unshakeablenesswithin which takes you through any situation you may needto face.
The world may look at you and believe that you are facing greatproblems, but always there are the inner resources to easily overcomethe problems. Nothing seems difficult.There is a calmness anda serenity and unhurriedness—no more striving or straining aboutanything.That’s a very important thing I’ve learned. If your life is inharmony with your part in the Life Pattern, and if you are obedientto the laws which govern this universe, then life is full and life is goodbut life is nevermore overcrowded. If it is overcrowded, then you aredoing more than is right for you to do—more than is your job to doin the total scheme of things.
Now there is a living to give instead of to get.As you concentrateon the giving, you discover that just as you cannot receive withoutgiving, so neither can you give without receiving—even the mostwonderful things like health and happiness and inner peace.There is afeeling of endless energy, it just never runs out, it seems to be as endlessas air.You seem to be plugged in to the source of universal energy.
You are now in control of your life.Your higher nature, which iscontrolled by God, controls the body, mind, and emotions. (The egois never really in control. The ego is controlled by wishes for comfortand convenience on the part of the body, by demands of themind, and by outbursts of the emotions.)I can say to my body, “Lie down there on that cement floor andgo to sleep,” and it obeys. I can say to my mind, “Shut out everythingelse and concentrate on the job before you,” and it is obedient.
I can say to my emotions, “Be still, even in the face of thisterrible situation,” and they are still. A great philosopher has said, hewho seems to be out of step may be following a different drummer. And nowyou are following a different drummer: the higher nature instead ofthe lower nature.
When you have done the spiritual growing up you realize thatevery human being is of equal importance, has work to do in thisworld, and has equal potential. We are in many varied stages ofgrowth; this is true because we have free will.You have free will as towhether you will finish the mental and emotional growing up. Manychoose not to. You have free will as to whether you will begin the spiritualgrowing up.The beginning of it is the time when you feel completelywilling, without any reservations, to leave the self-centeredlife. And most choose not to. But it was doing that growth and findinginner peace that prepared me for the pilgrimage that I walk today.
Looking through the eyes of the divine nature you see theessence within the manifestation, the creator within the creation, andit is a wonderful, wonderful world!
I realized in 1952 that it was the proper time for a pilgrim to stepforth.The war in Korea was raging and the McCarthy era was at itsheight. It was a time when congressional committees consideredpeople guilty until they could prove their innocence.There was greatfear at that time and it was safest to be apathetic.Yes, it was most certainlya time for a pilgrim to step forward, because a pilgrim’s job isto rouse people from apathy and make them think.With the last bitof money I had left, I bought not only paper and stencil for my firstmessages but material for my first tunic. Although I designed it, thesewing was done by a lady in California, and the lettering waspainted by a man who was a sign painter. My initial reaction when Ifirst put it on was a wonderful ‘rightness’ about it, and I immediatelyaccepted it.