Chapter 17 Why the Children Decided They Had to Get Rid of Mrs. Drazil

1. She was nice.

"I made cookies for everyone this morning," Mrs. Drazil announced. Everyone cheered.

2. She thought up ways to make learning interesting.

"I made five dozen cookies," she said. "There are twelve cookies in a dozen. So, who can tell me how many cookies I made?"

Joe waved his arm back and forth. "I know! I know!" he said.

"Okay, Joe," said Mrs. Drazil. "How many cookies did I make?"

"Five dozen," Joe said proudly.

3. She was patient.

"Yes, I made five dozen cookies," said Mrs. Drazil. "I told you that. But how many cookies are there?"

"Five dozen," said Joe.

"But how many cookies are in five dozen?" asked Mrs. Drazil.

"Huh?" asked Joe.

"How much is twelve times five?" asked Mrs. Drazil.

"Uh, just a second," said Joe. "Can I use pencil and paper?"

"Certainly," said Mrs. Drazil.

Joe took out a piece of paper and a pencil. He wrote the number five on the piece of paper, then tore it into twelve pieces. "Sixty!" he said.

Nobody quite understood Joe's mathematical methods.

4. She was fair.

"Yes, there are sixty cookies," she said. "And there are twenty-eight children in the class. So, how many cookies should each child get?"

Bebe raised her hand. "A hundred," she said.

"You can't have a hundred cookies," said Mrs. D. "I only made sixty."
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"Make some more," said Bebe.

"I made sixty," said Mrs. Drazil. "I'm not making any more."

"Okay," Bebe said with a sigh. "I'll take sixty."

"We have to divide them evenly," said Mrs. Drazil. "How many cookies should each child get so that every child gets the same amount?"

John raised his hand. "Everyone can have two cookies," he said, "and there will be four left over."

"Can I have them?" asked Bebe.

Allison raised her hand. "Everyone can have exactly two and one-seventh cookies," she said.

"Very good, Allison," said Mrs. Drazil. "And John, you were right too." She gave everyone exactly two and one-seventh cookies.

5. She was a good cook.

"Best cookies I ever had in my whole life!" said Stephen.

Everyone agreed.

"I got the recipe from Miss Mush," said Mrs. Drazil.

"You did?" several kids said together.

"I just added a pinch of this and a little of that," said Mrs. Drazil.

6. She knew what a goozack was.

"Jason, would you please open the door?" she said.

Everyone gasped. "What's the matter?" she asked.

"You said the D-word!" said Dana.

"Door?" asked Mrs. Drazil. Everyone gasped again. "You're supposed to call it a goozack," explained Dana.

"Who said so?" asked Mrs. Drazil.

"Mr. Kidswatter," said Dana.

"Mr. Kidswatter is a goozack," said Mrs. Drazil.

Yes, Mrs. Drazil was smart. She was nice. She made learning interesting. She was patient and fair. And she even could make Miss Mush's cookies taste good.

But she made Louis shave off his mustache.

And so she had to go.
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They had a plan. It all depended on Sharie.

Everyone just hoped she wouldn't fall asleep first. Sharie often fell asleep in class.

C'mon, Sharie, thought Deedee. You can do it.

Sharie looked out the window. The sky was full of big, fluffy clouds. She yawned. The clouds looked like giant pillows.

Sharie imagined herself wrapped up in one of those clouds, soft and cozy. She pulled her blue-and-red overcoat snugly over her head.

Her eyes closed. Then they opened wide. "Whazzat?!" she shouted.

"Sharie?" said Mrs. Drazil.

"Look!" shouted Sharie, pointing out the window. "It's a- Hurry!" Her long eyelashes stuck straight out.

Mrs. Drazil hurried to Sharie's desk. "What is it?"

"A spaceship!" said Sharie. "From outer space!"

On the other side of the room, Deedee dropped her pencil. She bent down to pick it up, then stayed down.

Deedee was part of the plan too. She had a dangerous mission. She had volunteered for it. She felt it was her duty, since she was the one who had brought Louis up to meet Mrs. Drazil in the first place.

"You don't have to do it," Ron had told her. "Mrs. Drazil would have seen Louis sooner or later."

"No, I'll do it," Deedee had bravely replied.

Now she crawled across the floor.

Mrs. Drazil looked out the window. "Where?" she asked.

"Wait it went behind a cloud," said Sharie.

"What did it look like?" asked Mrs. Drazil.
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"Like a giant hamburger," said Sharie. "But there was a zizzle stick hanging down from the bottom!"

Deedee crawled to the teacher's desk. She reached up and quietly opened the top drawer. She removed the blue notebook.

Mrs. Drazil stared out the window. "What's a zizzle stick?" she asked.

"I don't know," Sharie said very mysteriously. "They don't have them here on earth."

Deedee crawled safely back to her seat.

At recess everyone crowded around Deedee as she went through the blue notebook.

"Louis once put a frog in Mrs. Drazil's shoe," she said.

"Why wasn't her shoe on her foot?" asked Jenny.

"It doesn't say," said Deedee. "There's a whole list of bad things Louis did. And he made it sound like Mrs. Drazil picked on him for no reason!"

"No wonder she put a trash can on his head!" said Todd.

"What else did he do?" asked Eric Bacon, who was always looking for new ideas.

But Deedee had already turned the page.

"There are other kids a lot worse than Louis," she said, flipping through the pages.

"What are you looking for?" asked Ron.

"I don't know yet," said Deedee. "But I'll know it when I see it."

She saw it!

It was a note to Mrs. Drazil from a girl named Jane Smith. Deedee read it aloud.

Dear Lizard Face,

Guess what? I didn't do my homework again! HA HA HA! And there's nothing you can do about it because you're too stupid and ugly! HA HA HA! My family is moving away tomorrow! And you don't know where! HA HA HA! Rub a monkey's tummy! By the time you get this letter, I'll be gone. Rub a monkey's tummy with your head!

Love and Kisses, Jane Smith

Everyone was shocked. "How old is that letter?" asked Myron. Deedee checked the date, then did the math in her head. "Jane Smith wrote it twenty-six years

ago."
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"And look," said Ron, reading over Deedee's shoulder. "Jane didn't do her last twelve homework assignments!"

After recess Sharie saw the UFO again, and Deedee returned the notebook to Mrs. Drazil's desk.

Now all they had to do was find Jane Smith.